Reason 1,042 I should have sent her to Lincoln High

Transcript of conversation between Kiley and I at 6:00 pm this evening:

Ki: (hopping into the car after grabbing some Amigos take out) There’s a girl who works here that goes to my school.

Me:  Yeah?

Ki:  Yeah, she’s like super blonde and popular.

Me: Huh.

KI: It’s kind of weird that she would work here.

Me:  Why?  What’s wrong with Amigos?

Ki:  No, it’s just weird that she would work at this one.

Me:  Whhhhyy?

Ki:  It’s scary over here.  I mean, what if she had to work past 9.  It would freak me out if I worked there.

Me:  Kiley!  It’s 16th and South.  This neighborhood is just fine.  It’s not scary.  I think your school is skewing your view of the world.  I should have sent you to Lincoln High.  You have no exposure to anything but rich white people.

*silence*

Ki:  Am I half black?

Me:  Bwahahahahaa!!!

Yes, she’s a black Scandinavian.

I think our next summer vacation should be to Detroit.  Just saying.

So, this wedding stuff is consuming my life.  God forbid she find this blog before her wedding, because I am going to sound like a bitch right now. 

I am not cut out for this.  I am stressing big time.  The bachelorette and shower are this upcoming weekend.  Everything is planned out, but every time I think about it I start to hyperventilate.  Saturday night we are having dinner at an expensive joint in Omaha.  I mean, I think we could easily drop $150 a person.  Then we are heading to this club called Nomad where “we” (the bridal party) have reserved a VIP cabana with bottle service.  BOTTLE SERVICE.  The girls have already ordered a good bottle of gin and a good bottle of vodka.  Last time I checked my driver’s license didn’t read Sean Combs.  Also, I work in a cubicle at an insurance company…..not even with a window view.  In other words, I may have to take money out of my 401K just to afford this party.  Did I mention that we are picking up the bride’s tab for the entire evening?

The next day is the shower at DISH in Lincoln.  We have to make sure the bartender working gets at least $100 in tips.  We also are ordering appetizers and bringing in a cake.  Lisa and I are going gift shopping for those who win the shower games and door prizes.   

So, I guess I need to shave my legs.  I should probably also dig out a pair of shoes with a little more heel than my Van’s.

To do list:

• Find a guestbook for the shower
• Find an outfit for Saturday and one for Sunday
• Order the cake
• Freak the fuck out

By the way, Brenna has already been sighing and getting wrinkle lines over the few things I have bought so far for this wedding.  She has no idea what’s to come.  Alterations for my wedding outfits, clothes to wear for all of the events surrounding the wedding, wedding shoes, wedding hair styling, food and drink for the Mehndi (I am hosting this also), the wedding gift, etc and etc.  I fear B may have a nervous breakdown before the end of May.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am excited to be a part of this wedding and I am very happy for her.  It’s just a little more than my budget can handle.  It’s also a lot more work than I anticipated.

ANOTHER REASON I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL JUNE!!!!!!!!!

I loved your last post with the photo tutorial  I love it.  Just so you know, I would drink your life juice every day.  In fact, we should make some while I’m there.  Wheatgrass?  Is it super expensive?

Have you heard of this stuff?  www.monavie.com  I had someone tell me that drinking 4 ounces of this stuff every day cured their need for antidepressants.  I think I’m gonna order a bottle.  I’m a sucker for easy answers.

 Ok, I’m gonna go watch TV with B. 

Photo of the day tomorrow!